What do you want?
Simple question, right? It’s also one of the most difficult for many of us to answer. Sometimes because we truly don’t know what it is we want or how to get it.
I often see clients who want to find out why they can’t achieve their goal. It usually doesn’t take long to figure it out. It’s usually for 2 main reasons. Either they aren’t clear on what they do want or, by staying right where they are, they are getting something positive out of it.
We’ve all gone through it.
We might say, “I want a successful career”, when we really don’t want to lose the connection with our family. “I want a new car”, but you don’t want another payment. So, what I have found is that people actually do know what they want, but at the same time, they are getting something positive from staying right where they’re at and “sabotaging” the goal.
Your NLP Coaching practice provides you with tools and techniques such as DreamSculpting® to guide clients to discover what positive benefit they’re getting from NOT achieving their goal. It seems antithetical to get something positive from NOT achieving a goal, but it’s more common than you might realize. Once you uncover that positive benefit, you can open the channel for clients as they find other ways to keep the positive benefit by moving forward and achieving their goal.
A goal is an outcome we set our sights on achieving in life, career, relationship, home, and/or health. They appear to be less daunting than our big dreams, but how we approach them, how we sabotage them are just the same.
You can tell that something’s tripping you up, can’t you?
I once had a client who wanted to move from Sedona, Arizona to San Diego, California because she felt she might have better opportunities for work and new relationships, but she had been self-sabotaging this goal for years. Sabotage came in many forms i.e.: If it wasn’t her job stopping her from moving — it was the job market, if it wasn’t money stopping her– it was the economy, if it wasn’t the economy, it was the housing market.
There was always some excuse as to why she couldn’t make the move. What was tripping her up?
Truth was, she hadn’t really been clear about her goal of moving. It was kind of a fleeting thought and every once in a while she’d decide it was a good idea to move, but it really wasn’t a solid goal.
When she thought she was getting serious about moving, she began my DreamSculpting® program. As we progressed through the discovery phase, I asked her what she would get to keep by NOT moving to San Diego. After some serious thought, she replied, “Well, I’d get to keep my beautiful home here in Sedona” — and so the positive benefit was revealed. Once that was revealed she was able to truly create a strategy and plan for moving to San Diego, where she lives today in her beautiful home.
Here is a short scripted process I like to use to get them started on the road to discovering their real goals.
As a DreamSculpting® coach, you have in your tool chest the most powerful program in guiding clients to achieving their true goals and dreams. Isn’t THAT a goal worth achieving?