Turn Challenges into Opportunities

There is no time like now, to come from a place of choice and become the fierce leader of your life.

Now more than ever, it is essential to maintain a growth mindset. Seeing opportunities in challenging times is imperative to achieving success. And that is why becoming trained in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is vital to navigating change, challenge and success.

Most of how we behave and respond in life is done through habit. In fact, 95% of what we do is an unconscious process. It is our automatic response system at work. We automatically respond to situations based on how we have responded to them in the past. Our decision to respond is made up to 5 seconds before we are consciously aware. These responses are literally habits supported by our beliefs, which means we don’t think about doing something; it just happens.

This is where we can get in trouble because we may, in fact, be operating automatically from an old, outdated automatic response system that doesn’t reflect our current beliefs and values.

I am sure there have been times in your life that you have done something and then said to yourself, gosh, I don’t know where that came from, or I don’t even know why I acted that way. I don’t know about you, but I would like to forget some of my past responses because they were not aligned with the person I had become. My response was a reflection of an outdated version of me.

In all seriousness, NLP brings back into our life our ability to choose how we want to respond. It allows us to slow down to get clear on what we want and then check to see if what we want is supported by your existing automatic responses. The more our automatic responses are aligned with our goals and dreams, the more we experience happiness, peace, fulfillment, love, etc., in our life. When they are not aligned, we experience regret, frustration, depression, anxiety, and loss of hope…just to name a few. NLP offers a vast suite of skills, tools, and strategies that allow you to condition your mind to where you want to go and to gain the ability to see opportunities for growth and expansion in all areas of your life during challenging times as well as times of ease.


NLP offers a vast suite of skills, tools, and strategies that allow you to condition your mind to where you want to go and to gain the ability to see opportunities for growth and expansion in all areas of your life during challenging times as well as times of ease.

Do you want to get more from life?

Whether you want to expand your communications skills, learn new strategies, become more influential, NLP is literally the owner’s manual for your mind..the how-to guide to make lasting change in your life. Imagine having the skills and resources within you to:

  • Automatically make shifts in your emotions and moods so that you behave in ways that make you feel confident, secure, and proud.
  • Learn to quickly pivot the way you think and behave when you need to make a shift in your life.
  • Become a master of communication and influence.
  • Learn the art of connection and build meaningful and lasting healthy relationships.
  • Reduce stress and overcome challenges.
  • Lovingly and compassionately resolve conflict.
  • Eliminate co-dependency patterns.
  • Upgrade your automatic response system (unconscious mind) to reflect your updated beliefs and values.

Does any or all of this sound appealing to you?

Treat yourself to a week of learning to think on purpose: experience self-development and gain strategies to mindfully navigate your life to achieve your dreams and goals and experience more life fulfillment.

Join me in Hilton Island, SC January 7-15, 2021!

Together we will update and upgrade your automatic response system to be aligned with what you want to achieve in life. You will experience a transformational week of personal and professional development. You will walk away from the training with a new mindset of success and certification as an NLP Practitioner Life Coach.

Do you want to register and update your automatic response system?

Email me, by 12/25/21 and I will extend a $200 discount for you to attend.

I am Looking forward to seeing you there! Sandra

Changing Inner Dialogue

As small children, our minds are like sponges and during the time between birth and 7 or 8 years old, we spend most of our time exploring, learning, and absorbing the information of the world around us.  

Science tells us during this 7 to 8 year period, that we are in the brain wave state of Theta and in that state, our subconscious becomes a repository for memories, emotions, sensations. 

For example, a child raised with a Mother or Father who uses words and phrases such as “you don’t deserve” “who do you think you are” “don’t be stupid”, “life sucks”, that child will likely grow up with inner dialogues such as, “I’m not worthy”, “I don’t deserve to be successful”, “I’ll  never be happy”, or worse.

If your client has repeatedly attempted and failed at, for example, starting a business, completing college, or developing meaningful relationships, there is more than likely an inner dialogue playing over and over in their mind.  Sometimes they still hear their parents voices and other times it becomes their own.

If that’s all it did, it wouldn’t be such a problem, but what that inner dialogue ultimately does is it creates an “internal saboteur” that causes them to make decisions and act in ways that aren’t congruent with or supporting their goals.  

You have an awesome opportunity to assist them in changing that inner dialogue to something more useful, opening the way for them to create a new way of being.

Another great advantage of your Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) training is that any technique or process you can use with a client, you can use to heal yourself.  In fact, if you have an internal saboteur blocking any area of your life, I recommend you first eliminate yours.  

Here is a very simple and effective way to do that.

Changing Inner Dialogue

  1. Get in touch with the inner dialogue
  2. Name the emotion it creates that you want to replace
  3. Rate the intensity of that feeling on a scale of 0 being “no problem” and 10 “I’m ready to scream”
  4. Identify the dialogue, e.g., “I screw up everything”, “I’m not worthy of a good marriage”
  5. Change the speed and the pitch of the voice
  6. Make the inner dialogue high (like Mickey Mouse) and super-fast
  7. Slow the inner dialogue down and low (like James Earl Jones) out loud or mentally and then,
  8. Slow it down even more and make the spaces between the words even longer 
  9. You will begin to notice that your inner dialogue doesn’t elicit the same emotion when repeated slowly
  10. Check in with the feeling that you wanted to replace

If it is at zero, replace it with a new positive statement in a voice that you just can’t help but listen to, and as you listen to your voice, put a big smile on your face and enjoy this new way of being. 

Manage Your Mind, Manage Your Life

Just imagine what you could do if you no longer had to spend the time and energy on reminding yourself that you’re “trying” to think only positive thoughts.  

Or I’m wondering if you can imagine that you no longer had to “monitor” or “screen” your thoughts for so that you can remember that the only difference between happiness and sadness, anger, frustration and all those other thoughts that make you feel crappy. . . the ONLY difference is your thoughts.

Now can you also imagine how much more you could accomplish, how much more fun and freedom you’ll have and how happy you will feel when you learn how to manage those thoughts . . . unconsciously? 

There are many times in life when our unmanaged, unwanted emotions result in our acting out in unloving, unhelpful and, yes, destructive ways.  And when those emotions pass, we can occasionally find ourselves making excuses for our behavior.  “I was tired and cranky”, “I had a bad day at work”, “My car broke down” in an attempt to apologize.  

Now, can you see the benefits of choosing your thoughts rather than excusing your behavior?

Of course you can, because as a trained NLP Coach you would be in control of your thoughts.  You wouldn’t allow your out of control thoughts to sabotage you. 

Well, let’s talk about that for a minute. 

One of many things I enjoy teaching my MasterClass students, is practicing the many NLP processes available where they learn to direct their conscious thoughts in order to guide their clients to healing.  

The great benefit for my students is that as they learn to direct their conscious thoughts, their unconscious learns a new way of being, and they are able to uncover and heal many of their underlying wounds that are, in fact, our internal saboteurs.  When those wounds and internal saboteurs are healed, guess what?  Students experience much more emotional, physical, mental and spiritual wellness.  

When we tie it all together it means that you learn to manage those thoughts, which means your underlying beliefs are changed, the quality of your thoughts improve, the quality of your behaviors improve and you become the authentic person you’ve always wanted to be. 

And becoming “authentic” is the difference between having to be consciously on guard about what you’re thinking and how you’re behaving, and having your thoughts and behaviors aligned with your beliefs so that they happen more unconsciously. 

I call this being “unconsciously congruent”. Congruent with what?  With your innate values.  When your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors are in alignment with your values, there will be no more getting stuck in anxiety, depression, anger. You will be in a new state of being, which as you employ any number of tools to guide your clients to wellness, you are consciously and unconsciously using those tools to guide yourself into your best life ever

So, you’re probably wondering how to become unconsciously congruent.  

You can begin by enrolling in ongoing NLP training, joining an NLP Masterclass, and by modeling the lives and success secrets of NLP legends such as Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and Tony Robbins, and applying them in your life. Any of these options will allow you to gain more competency, thus becoming more aligned with your goals and dreams making them more easily achievable.

Learn more about Thrive Learning Collective’s NLP Coaching Program and NLP MasterClass at http://www.ThriveLearningCollective.com/masterclass.  The next ones begin soon.


Living Healthy with NLP

In my earlier post, I talked about managing our thoughts through Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and how that can allow you to live your best life ever.   

And even as an NLP Coach you’re probably curious.   “How does NLP affect my health?” and “How can I use it to improve my health?”

If you read my previous post, you know that going from where you are to where you want to be is only a thought away.  And the same holds true for thoughts about our health.

During one of my 16 day NLP / Hypnotherapy training classes in Florida, I had a student who came in EVERY day complaining of a new ailment.  Her leg hurt, the next day her shoulder hurt, she twisted her back.  Every day was something new and as I was leaving one day, I noticed that, even though she wasn’t legally “handicapped”, she parked every day in a handicapped parking spot.

So I thought, if she’s NOT handicapped and at least twice a day she’s seeing the handicapped sign on the parking spot, then she’s subconsciously living out HER life as a handicapped person!

You see, as she feels the ailment, she then thinks the thought that “something is wrong” and continues to subconsciously recreate “something wrong” every day.

Once I pointed it out to her, she found a new parking spot, and through the New Behavior Generator and Anchoring NLP processes, she was able to change her “wrong” thinking into more positive thoughts which supported her desire to for excellent health. 

A basic premise is that if you control your thoughts, you can control your words, and you have control over changes you wish to make in your life. 

You will always have a variety of thoughts floating through your mind, so when I speak of controlling your thoughts, I’m referring to focusing your thoughts.  You can CHOOSE what thoughts you want to put your focus on.  The others will just float on through with barely a notice.

So, using words accurately is what NLP teaches. By teaching your brain to think, and it can be taught, in sound ways and behaviors that are in alignment with your values (see Manage Your Mind, Manage Your Life), then this produces positive effects on your body and heals your emotions.

As an NLP Coach, you’re aware that roughly 90% of illnesses originate in the mind. However, knowing this and applying it in your life can be two different things.  

In the NLP MasterClass, I consciously and continuously monitor my students’ words while talking about your life, family, business, relationships, and health.  By also observing your facial expressions, and body changes, I can see hidden “language” to discover the unwanted thoughts and the way you view your health, and get to the root of the problem, the negative belief stored in your unconscious. 

Once the unconscious beliefs are brought into your consciousness, you will change your thinking pattern and eliminate any unwanted ideas about your health.

NLP has proven successful in sports, the educational field, sales, business, and health.  Thrive Learning Collective’s NLP MasterClass students gain a much deeper level of understanding of how and why the techniques work and how not only to assist their clients in making positive life changes, but to incorporate them in their own lives.  

All of us have role models such as film stars, sports stars, famous speakers, and so on.  They have achieved success and prominence in their fields. They also have reasonably good health and radiant personalities. They have got to where they are by a strong “belief” system shored up with high quality thoughts.  

You and I can also model or create patterns in our own lives by following their beliefs and patterns of behavior and so rise up to their levels of success.  It is entirely possible.  I’ve done it and I’ve seen so many of my students do it, as well.  NLP is the shortest, most direct path to discover the inner resources we all possess.  They are waiting to be tapped and brought out into the light, so that every aspect of our lives can be improved. 

Success isn’t just for a chosen few, it’s for all of us.  


What is Life Coaching

Life Coaching – A Rewarding Life & Career

The field of Life Coaching is a popular area of focus for individuals from all walks of life. This relatively new field of personal development is in an amazing stage of evolution. As an independent field of study, Coaching started when human resource departments started using senior-level employees to train rookies in the company. Since then, various models of goal formulation and goal achievement now apply to many different areas, including personal growth, spiritual growth, health, career, relationships, and more.

Coaching has been developed into a niche for businesses and is effective in organizational development. Additionally, the field of Coaching continues to be a successful and rewarding career path. ThriveLearning Collective Students have found Neuro-Linguistic Life Coaching® to be a rewarding career path, and use their skills to help businesses as well as individuals.

Neuro-Linguistic based Life Coaches master the art of rapport and deeper levels of communication to break through barriers between company and client and vertical or horizontal inter-office lines. Coaches specializing in business coaching are skilled in resolving conflict, optimizing sales and marketing efforts, and working one-on-one with leaders to obtain real results.

Life Coaching & Health – Help individuals manage their illnesses and conditions

Health Coaching is an effective way to help individuals “manage” their illnesses and conditions, especially those of a chronic nature. With health care issues as a primary factor in the lives of many, more and more clients seek out this type of coaching to assist them in achieving health in a preventative manner.

The Coach trained in Neuro-Linguistics assists clients in finding mental/emotional “root causes” associated with health and wellness. These Coaches are also skilled in helping clients achieve and maintain healthy wellness goals by re-associating unproductive habits or behaviors with new, more useful choices.

Life Coaching & Relationships – Learning the love language of the subconscious

Relationship Coaches are useful in several different contexts, including attracting a mate, romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships. A Relationship Coach directs and trains his/her clients on various aspects of meeting and attracting long-term partners and meeting more compatible prospects. The focus of most programs is on confident and congruent communication. Clients learn to be empowered with a deeper level of understanding body language.

Existing relationships are strongly influenced by the use of Neuro-Linguistic Relationship Coaching. In this dynamic method, partners are encouraged to become outcome-focused and more congruent about motives. By clearing out old fears and hurt, couples can find the freedom and security to move forward together toward healthy, desirable relations.

Life Coaching & Personal Growth

Personal Coaching has become a vital tool in the personal growth field. Clients of Life Coaching report being able to more effectively communicate what they want and how to get it, along with experiencing strength and evolution in relationships, and an overall sense of well-being.

A Neuro-Linguistic Life Coach® may use inquiry, reflection, requests, and discussion to help clients identify personal and/or business and/or relationship goals, dissolving potential or unconscious blockages along the way. This allows the client to find focus and motivation toward action plans, and consequently, he/she manifests the most desirable outcome. Most Neuro-Linguistic Life Coaches® experience their own personal growth as they journey through the intricacies of this work in the Neuro-Linguistic Life Coaching® Certification Program. Bennett/Stellar provides a safe and comfortable environment for students to explore their own limitations and reach new-found dreams.

Just reading about personal growth is not enough to actually embody it, as personal growth comes from experience. Bennett/Stellar is proud of the truly experiential environment it provides, where Coaches and individuals alike can come and seek the change they want in their lives. Coaches may teach specific insights and skills to empower the client toward his/her goals.

Clients are responsible for their own achievements and successes. The client takes action, and the coach may assist, but he or she never leads or does more than the client. Therefore, a coach cannot – and does not – promise that a client will take any specific action or attain specific goals.

Imagine Yourself on the Big Screen with NLP

Have you ever imagined what life would be like as a movie star? We all love to be entertained and live vicariously through the adventures, loves, mistakes, and conquests of our favorite heroes. A good movie is one that evokes emotion and connection to the people on the screen. When we are really connected to a character in a movie, and we feel anything from love to sadness, we are inadvertently learning about people and life.

If you have had a friend with a problem, you may know how easy it is to look at their life and problems and give advice based on what you see. As long as it is not happening to me, I am able to see the problem, and usually the solution, clearly. I have sat through many-a movie with a similar type of clarity. Perched on the edge of my seat I often want to yell out, “Can’t you see he loves you? Just go, get on the train.” So, how is it that we often find it challenging to look at our own life with that same type of clarity?

By using the power of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) we can utilize tools that help us view our life’s situations from the “best friend” position. Or better yet, we can sit in the director’s chair and direct our very own box-office hit.

So if we consider the basis behind the NLP presupposition “Learning v. Blame” we can see that if we blame other people or the world for our misfortunes we miss out on the opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve our consciousness. Why is this? Blaming someone or something else for our misfortunes is a very dis-empowered place to be. If the world is against us, then surely there is nothing we can do about it. If we want something different or new in our life, we have to empower ourselves through learning. In learning about ourselves, we empower our life with choices.

So how can we learn about ourselves and empower our lives?

Here are some easy steps to becoming the star of your own life.

See Yourself on the Big Screen:

First, imagine or pretend that there is a movie screen in front of you and you are the star of this particular film. Pretend you have a remote control that allows you to Play, Stop, Rewind, Fast Forward and Pause the film.

2. Watch as the challenging situation in your life plays forward. Notice everything about the characters in the film. Notice yourself as the movie progresses and become aware of your role in the movie.

In films, the director has the opportunity to re-shoot specific scenes. Since our emotional states dictate much of how we interact and behave, it is essential for the emotional state of the star actor to be “just right” in the scene. You may notice the difference between saying “I love you” when you are feeling consumed with the power of love, opposed to saying “I love you” when you are feeling disgusted or angered.

Here is your opportunity to be the director of your own film. You get to suggest any number of emotional resources that you would like the actor to try out before the scene goes smoothly. For Example, the Director may say, “Okay, I would like you to do that scene again.. except this time I want you to feel loved, confident, and accepted—no matter what the words in the script say… ready GO.”

3. Use your remote to rewind the film all the way back to the beginning.

4. Choose the best emotions for your movie and pretend that you can see yourself becoming filled with those new emotions.

5. Now, as you play the movie forward watch yourself as you interact with others from the place of the new emotions. Notice the change in the interaction. Most likely, even if the words are the same—the interaction is different.

Sandra Vesterstein is an international trainer and teacher of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Life Coaching, Hypnotherapy, and Reiki with Thrive Learning Collective. To find out more about these healing arts, or becoming a certified life coach, NLP practitioner, or Clinical Hypnotherapist go to ThriveLearningCollective.com