Manage Your Mind, Manage Your Life

Just imagine what you could do if you no longer had to spend the time and energy on reminding yourself that you’re “trying” to think only positive thoughts.  

Or I’m wondering if you can imagine that you no longer had to “monitor” or “screen” your thoughts for so that you can remember that the only difference between happiness and sadness, anger, frustration and all those other thoughts that make you feel crappy. . . the ONLY difference is your thoughts.

Now can you also imagine how much more you could accomplish, how much more fun and freedom you’ll have and how happy you will feel when you learn how to manage those thoughts . . . unconsciously? 

There are many times in life when our unmanaged, unwanted emotions result in our acting out in unloving, unhelpful and, yes, destructive ways.  And when those emotions pass, we can occasionally find ourselves making excuses for our behavior.  “I was tired and cranky”, “I had a bad day at work”, “My car broke down” in an attempt to apologize.  

Now, can you see the benefits of choosing your thoughts rather than excusing your behavior?

Of course you can, because as a trained NLP Coach you would be in control of your thoughts.  You wouldn’t allow your out of control thoughts to sabotage you. 

Well, let’s talk about that for a minute. 

One of many things I enjoy teaching my MasterClass students, is practicing the many NLP processes available where they learn to direct their conscious thoughts in order to guide their clients to healing.  

The great benefit for my students is that as they learn to direct their conscious thoughts, their unconscious learns a new way of being, and they are able to uncover and heal many of their underlying wounds that are, in fact, our internal saboteurs.  When those wounds and internal saboteurs are healed, guess what?  Students experience much more emotional, physical, mental and spiritual wellness.  

When we tie it all together it means that you learn to manage those thoughts, which means your underlying beliefs are changed, the quality of your thoughts improve, the quality of your behaviors improve and you become the authentic person you’ve always wanted to be. 

And becoming “authentic” is the difference between having to be consciously on guard about what you’re thinking and how you’re behaving, and having your thoughts and behaviors aligned with your beliefs so that they happen more unconsciously. 

I call this being “unconsciously congruent”. Congruent with what?  With your innate values.  When your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors are in alignment with your values, there will be no more getting stuck in anxiety, depression, anger. You will be in a new state of being, which as you employ any number of tools to guide your clients to wellness, you are consciously and unconsciously using those tools to guide yourself into your best life ever

So, you’re probably wondering how to become unconsciously congruent.  

You can begin by enrolling in ongoing NLP training, joining an NLP Masterclass, and by modeling the lives and success secrets of NLP legends such as Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and Tony Robbins, and applying them in your life. Any of these options will allow you to gain more competency, thus becoming more aligned with your goals and dreams making them more easily achievable.

Learn more about Thrive Learning Collective’s NLP Coaching Program and NLP MasterClass at  The next ones begin soon.


Building Client Rapport

The first and most important part of a Coach’s relationship with our clients is to establish “rapport”. Why?  Because it creates a harmonious connection which is a practical skill that can be mastered through NLP tools and techniques.

Rapport is a conscious process of establishing an understanding, consensus-building relationship with their client.  The purpose is to promote a feeling a of comfort, familiarity, relatability, and communication all at the unconscious level. 

There are many situations in which we might want to have rapport.  NLP teaches you ways to instantly build credibility and trust with anyone.  NLP techniques are simple to learn and apply that will let you build rapport much faster with whomever you communicate with.  It’s especially useful with family, friends or co-workers, those within whom you have a level of relationship.

Building Rapport Starts with Paying Attention

Ways to build a rapport include the use of predicates, pet words, breathing, eye blinks, head tilt, posture, rhythms and many other things. Even just learning 3 or 4 of these helps you to be more balanced in your thinking and to understand your mind.

NLP teaches you how representations in everyday communications can guide you to asking the right questions and above all, to expect and elicit high quality answers. Your client’s high quality answers will provide you a window into their experience of the world.  Through this window, you’ll be able to more effectively guide them to healing.

Create better relationships with clients, family, friends and business relationships.

 These 3 NLP techniques will start you on your path to building instant rapport with whomever you want.

  1. Match your words – Words reflect the beliefs, ideas and understandings we have about ourselves, others, and the world in general.

So, when we listen closely to the words others speak, then use the same words in that conversation, it becomes possible to enter the other person’s world and see it as he or she does.  Doing this, we develop a better understanding of how that person feels or thinks.  Understanding that allows us to build rapport, and more easily become more persuasive and influential.

  1. Observe non-verbal cues – Non-verbal elements of our communication such as gestures, postures, facial expressions, eye movements, etc., are as important and convey more information than the words we use. Non-verbal cues can be both conscious and unconscious and besides the above also includes the pitch, rhythm and volume of the voice. Matching the tone of voice, pitch and rhythm lets you build instant rapport.
  2. Identify Meta programs– Meta programs in NLP refer to our habitual patterns that we uses in any given situation. NLP examples of Meta programs include our preference for big picture vs. details, moving towards what we want vs. moving away from what we don’t want, whether we delete information or distort it, and whether we look for things that are the same or we see differences.

Using these NLP tools is learning to appreciate and understand another’s model of the world or to put it another way, their map of reality and then communicating that back to them in a way that establishes trust.  The unconscious mind loves sameness so when we connect on our similarities and commonalities it fosters high levels of trust and gives others the feeling of being heard, appreciated and understood.

Can you imagine how that could positively affect all of your relationships?

These are just some of the ways of building instant rapport. Listening to words representing thoughts and emotions of a person, paying attention to non-verbal cues, noting their meta-programs and using them to the best advantage can be immensely helpful in a variety of situations that can include sales, negotiations, in the hiring process, therapy and many others. The higher the rapport level the more harmonious will be the connection and lead to better empathy and understanding towards other people.

Everything Is Hypnosis

There are many definitions of hypnosis.  For hypnotists, a common definition is “a state or condition in which the client becomes highly responsive to suggestions.”  You might think that this state can only be attained in a hypnotist’s office.  After reading this blog, you will understand how often and how easily we are hypnotized in our daily lives. More importantly, you will become aware of how you can use that time to your benefit. 

But first, I’d like to frame it up.  Hypnosis can happen intentionally in a hypnotist’s office when the client is relaxing and listening to positive suggestions. It can also happen in many other situations as you will see.

Hypnosis happens to all of us naturally every day and is generally associated with the alpha brainwave state.  In this relaxing state between wakefulness and drowsiness we’re especially open to suggestions. We enter the alpha state during times of meditation, prayer, daydreaming, or . . .  doing something so familiar we don’t even pay attention to the details of it.

Have you noticed that the car is a great place to daydream? As you drive that familiar route, your thoughts naturally turn inward, imagining, planning, or remembering.  And listening to relaxing instrumental music such as binaural beats or classical music while working or taking a break can open you up to inspiration.

I don’t know if you can, but many people say that when they hear songs from their teen years, they slip right back into those same feelings.  I imagine that’s why Oldies Radio Stations are popular.

By now, you’re probably beginning to see the picture.

So just remember a time when you were “in the flow”; a time you were so engrossed in a book, or while drawing, needlepointing, painting, watching a movie, or out on your morning run. You are in a trance state of hypnosis. It’s that sweet spot between our conscious awareness and the ease of being on autopilot.

You feel like you’re at one with the task you’re performing, and you unconsciously filter out any and all distractions. Your friends and co-workers might find it really hard to distract you when you’re in this state — because you’re in an alpha state.

In that state we typically lose all sense of time and space.  Activities such as reading, listening to the radio, driving yard work, housework, can create very real opportunities for pleasant daydreaming.  Time in the alpha state is available to you every time you fall asleep and every time you begin to wake up. 

We spend much of our waking day in hypnosis, and you are your own greatest and most convincing hypnotist. What do you say to yourself? “I have an addictive personality,” “I catch the flu every year,” “everyone in my family is overweight, so I am too,” or “As soon as I make some money, something happens, and I have to spend it all.”  Or maybe you’ve heard yourself think or say, “I excel at everything I do,” “I was born lucky,” or “Every day is full of opportunities.”  First, let me ask you, which of those feel better?  That’s right.  And you always, always have the choice of thoughts and words.

Whether you’re in the hypnotist’s office or not, the most important thing to remember about hypnosis is that you always have the power to accept or reject suggestions. You know how it is when a salesperson is trying to persuade you to buy something. You have a choice: You can choose to be convinced, or you can say, “Thanks anyway,” and walk away.

The same is true of your own thoughts and others’ words. But you first have to become aware of them.

Make the decision to take charge of your own hypnosis. First, listen to what you think and say to yourself, especially the ones you repeat to yourself often.  Write them all down verbatim.  When you become aware of a thought that is not serving you, rewrite it in a way that is stating what you want, not what you don’t want. Repeat the new statement out loud or in your mind.

Suggestion Tip for Success: When you’re working on a goal, before you fall asleep at night, use those alpha brainwaves to help you. Close your eyes, and see yourself achieving your goal and feel those delicious feelings of accomplishment.  Imagine it while you’re driving or doing other routine tasks. Remember, everything we think, see, hear, and experience in our environment can be a hypnotic influence.  Make sure to use this to help you get what you want!