Turn Challenges into Opportunities

There is no time like now, to come from a place of choice and become the fierce leader of your life.

Now more than ever, it is essential to maintain a growth mindset. Seeing opportunities in challenging times is imperative to achieving success. And that is why becoming trained in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is vital to navigating change, challenge and success.

Most of how we behave and respond in life is done through habit. In fact, 95% of what we do is an unconscious process. It is our automatic response system at work. We automatically respond to situations based on how we have responded to them in the past. Our decision to respond is made up to 5 seconds before we are consciously aware. These responses are literally habits supported by our beliefs, which means we don’t think about doing something; it just happens.

This is where we can get in trouble because we may, in fact, be operating automatically from an old, outdated automatic response system that doesn’t reflect our current beliefs and values.

I am sure there have been times in your life that you have done something and then said to yourself, gosh, I don’t know where that came from, or I don’t even know why I acted that way. I don’t know about you, but I would like to forget some of my past responses because they were not aligned with the person I had become. My response was a reflection of an outdated version of me.

In all seriousness, NLP brings back into our life our ability to choose how we want to respond. It allows us to slow down to get clear on what we want and then check to see if what we want is supported by your existing automatic responses. The more our automatic responses are aligned with our goals and dreams, the more we experience happiness, peace, fulfillment, love, etc., in our life. When they are not aligned, we experience regret, frustration, depression, anxiety, and loss of hope…just to name a few. NLP offers a vast suite of skills, tools, and strategies that allow you to condition your mind to where you want to go and to gain the ability to see opportunities for growth and expansion in all areas of your life during challenging times as well as times of ease.


NLP offers a vast suite of skills, tools, and strategies that allow you to condition your mind to where you want to go and to gain the ability to see opportunities for growth and expansion in all areas of your life during challenging times as well as times of ease.

Do you want to get more from life?

Whether you want to expand your communications skills, learn new strategies, become more influential, NLP is literally the owner’s manual for your mind..the how-to guide to make lasting change in your life. Imagine having the skills and resources within you to:

  • Automatically make shifts in your emotions and moods so that you behave in ways that make you feel confident, secure, and proud.
  • Learn to quickly pivot the way you think and behave when you need to make a shift in your life.
  • Become a master of communication and influence.
  • Learn the art of connection and build meaningful and lasting healthy relationships.
  • Reduce stress and overcome challenges.
  • Lovingly and compassionately resolve conflict.
  • Eliminate co-dependency patterns.
  • Upgrade your automatic response system (unconscious mind) to reflect your updated beliefs and values.

Does any or all of this sound appealing to you?

Treat yourself to a week of learning to think on purpose: experience self-development and gain strategies to mindfully navigate your life to achieve your dreams and goals and experience more life fulfillment.

Join me in Hilton Island, SC January 7-15, 2021!

Together we will update and upgrade your automatic response system to be aligned with what you want to achieve in life. You will experience a transformational week of personal and professional development. You will walk away from the training with a new mindset of success and certification as an NLP Practitioner Life Coach.

Do you want to register and update your automatic response system?

Email me, by 12/25/21 and I will extend a $200 discount for you to attend.

I am Looking forward to seeing you there! Sandra

Have negative self-talk? Here’s how to change it!

Do you ever find yourself saying negative things about yourself?

Perhaps you tell yourself you’re not good enough…
Perhaps you tell yourself you’re a failure…
Perhaps you tell yourself you’re not capable of achieving something…

People often say these things to themselves sub-consciously and it can have a detrimental impact on their entire life.

Sometimes it stops them from approaching people in social situations or sometimes it can mean they have major imposter syndrome that prevents them from taking action.

It’s not so black & white as some many people would like to believe.

However, changing your inner dialogue is completely possible and doing so can shift your entire life.

Instead of being focused on what you think you can’t do, you can start to automatically focus on your true potential which allows you to do way more than you could even imagine.

It’s entirely possible… you just have to change your inner dialogue.

To help you do this right now, I created a great little resource for you.

Click the link below to change your inner dialogue. It’s super quick!

Yes, help me change my inner dialogue

Take your time as you go through the process and really dive deep into the exercise. It’ll help you get the best results!

Are you interested in taking control of your life and releasing your feelings anxiety? Join me for Conquering Anxiety starting January 6th! Register here!

I fired Anxiety as the boss of my life!

The day came when I fired Anxiety as the boss of my life and replaced it with Mindfulness and Love!

When Anxiety becomes the controlling boss in your life…

Anxiety competes with love for control of your future and closes off hope and inspiration of what can be. Love opens you up to all of the possibilities your future has in store for you to be, do and have.

In the past, I felt anxious most of the time. I was always looking for what could go wrong or how I wasn’t good enough. Anxiety was always competing with my loving heart for control. I allowed my anxious need for love, appreciation, and acceptance to become the boss of my life.

Today, I acknowledge that my attempt to control my future and others around me was my Anxiety in disguise. When Anxiety became the controlling boss in my life, it blocked me from experiencing love and joy. I had a hard time becoming consciously aware of this because my Anxiety was cloaked in controlling behaviors of being overly helpful or responsible.

The day came when I finally gave Anxiety its pink slip and have replaced it with mindfulness and love. Now, Anxiety only occupies a temporary position in my life. It only has control when I am in actual danger.

Now, whenever overly helpful or responsible behavior comes up in me, I check in and lean into it and ask what it wants for me. If I am doing it because I want someone to accept, love, or value me, I take a few deep breaths and say to myself, “you are already valuable, lovable, and accepted just as you are… relax…and then I see myself feeling completely loved, valued and accepted.

If Anxiety is being the controlling boss in your life, take back your destiny and step into love. Check out Conquering Anxiety Starting January 6, 2022.


Changing Inner Dialogue

As small children, our minds are like sponges and during the time between birth and 7 or 8 years old, we spend most of our time exploring, learning, and absorbing the information of the world around us.  

Science tells us during this 7 to 8 year period, that we are in the brain wave state of Theta and in that state, our subconscious becomes a repository for memories, emotions, sensations. 

For example, a child raised with a Mother or Father who uses words and phrases such as “you don’t deserve” “who do you think you are” “don’t be stupid”, “life sucks”, that child will likely grow up with inner dialogues such as, “I’m not worthy”, “I don’t deserve to be successful”, “I’ll  never be happy”, or worse.

If your client has repeatedly attempted and failed at, for example, starting a business, completing college, or developing meaningful relationships, there is more than likely an inner dialogue playing over and over in their mind.  Sometimes they still hear their parents voices and other times it becomes their own.

If that’s all it did, it wouldn’t be such a problem, but what that inner dialogue ultimately does is it creates an “internal saboteur” that causes them to make decisions and act in ways that aren’t congruent with or supporting their goals.  

You have an awesome opportunity to assist them in changing that inner dialogue to something more useful, opening the way for them to create a new way of being.

Another great advantage of your Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) training is that any technique or process you can use with a client, you can use to heal yourself.  In fact, if you have an internal saboteur blocking any area of your life, I recommend you first eliminate yours.  

Here is a very simple and effective way to do that.

Changing Inner Dialogue

  1. Get in touch with the inner dialogue
  2. Name the emotion it creates that you want to replace
  3. Rate the intensity of that feeling on a scale of 0 being “no problem” and 10 “I’m ready to scream”
  4. Identify the dialogue, e.g., “I screw up everything”, “I’m not worthy of a good marriage”
  5. Change the speed and the pitch of the voice
  6. Make the inner dialogue high (like Mickey Mouse) and super-fast
  7. Slow the inner dialogue down and low (like James Earl Jones) out loud or mentally and then,
  8. Slow it down even more and make the spaces between the words even longer 
  9. You will begin to notice that your inner dialogue doesn’t elicit the same emotion when repeated slowly
  10. Check in with the feeling that you wanted to replace

If it is at zero, replace it with a new positive statement in a voice that you just can’t help but listen to, and as you listen to your voice, put a big smile on your face and enjoy this new way of being. 

Alleviating Anxiety

Over the past many months, NLP practitioners have reached into their own tool belts in order to maintain their own perspective and balance in order to continue assisting our clients. 

There’s no doubt 2020 was an incredibly challenging year and our services were needed more than ever.

We always want our clients to feel good, and as practitioners, we also need them to be relaxed and clear-headed so that they are in a resourceful state in order to do the underlying work necessary, such as releasing unwanted anger, eliminating limiting beliefs, parts integration, TimeLine Therapy, hypnosis or any change work.  

So, I want to share with you a very simple NLP technique that will quickly and easily change your client’s emotional state.

It’s so simple that some Practitioners might have overlooked it. If you yourself have moments of feeling anxious, be sure to use this process before working with clients.  You always want to feel relaxed, confident, competent, open and curious.  

Remember, your energy precedes you and consciously or unconsciously, clients will feel it.

Once you have begun accessing your familiar resourceful feelings once again, guide your clients into this breathing technique.


  1. Get in touch with and name the feeling you want to replace 
  2. Rate the intensity of the feeling from 0-10
  3. Turn on the parasympathetic nervous system and the vagus nerve by

    using the 7-11 breathing technique:

    • Inhale to the count of 7 
    • Exhale to the count of 11
    • Repeat until the client’s physiology shows signs of changing to a more resourceful state
  1. Break State
  2. Have client choose the emotion(s) s/he would rather feel 
  3. Invite the client to “Remember a time you felt that feeling”, and 

    intensify it for your client using powerful sub-modality work.

  1. Have client identify behavior when s/he is feeling those desired

    emotions.  Invite the client to:

    • put their shoulders back
    • sit or stand up taller
    • move more powerfully and purposefully
  1. Perform the desired healing or change work
  2. Check client’s results and make adjustments if necessary 
  3. Have client rate from 0-10 how s/he feels.  If necessary, repeat steps 6-10 until you get desired results 

And don’t underestimate the power of simple processes.  They have been used successfully by all of the top NLP Master Practitioners for a very long time.  

They built their reputations on many of these techniques . . . and you can, too.

Manage Your Mind, Manage Your Life

Just imagine what you could do if you no longer had to spend the time and energy on reminding yourself that you’re “trying” to think only positive thoughts.  

Or I’m wondering if you can imagine that you no longer had to “monitor” or “screen” your thoughts for so that you can remember that the only difference between happiness and sadness, anger, frustration and all those other thoughts that make you feel crappy. . . the ONLY difference is your thoughts.

Now can you also imagine how much more you could accomplish, how much more fun and freedom you’ll have and how happy you will feel when you learn how to manage those thoughts . . . unconsciously? 

There are many times in life when our unmanaged, unwanted emotions result in our acting out in unloving, unhelpful and, yes, destructive ways.  And when those emotions pass, we can occasionally find ourselves making excuses for our behavior.  “I was tired and cranky”, “I had a bad day at work”, “My car broke down” in an attempt to apologize.  

Now, can you see the benefits of choosing your thoughts rather than excusing your behavior?

Of course you can, because as a trained NLP Coach you would be in control of your thoughts.  You wouldn’t allow your out of control thoughts to sabotage you. 

Well, let’s talk about that for a minute. 

One of many things I enjoy teaching my MasterClass students, is practicing the many NLP processes available where they learn to direct their conscious thoughts in order to guide their clients to healing.  

The great benefit for my students is that as they learn to direct their conscious thoughts, their unconscious learns a new way of being, and they are able to uncover and heal many of their underlying wounds that are, in fact, our internal saboteurs.  When those wounds and internal saboteurs are healed, guess what?  Students experience much more emotional, physical, mental and spiritual wellness.  

When we tie it all together it means that you learn to manage those thoughts, which means your underlying beliefs are changed, the quality of your thoughts improve, the quality of your behaviors improve and you become the authentic person you’ve always wanted to be. 

And becoming “authentic” is the difference between having to be consciously on guard about what you’re thinking and how you’re behaving, and having your thoughts and behaviors aligned with your beliefs so that they happen more unconsciously. 

I call this being “unconsciously congruent”. Congruent with what?  With your innate values.  When your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors are in alignment with your values, there will be no more getting stuck in anxiety, depression, anger. You will be in a new state of being, which as you employ any number of tools to guide your clients to wellness, you are consciously and unconsciously using those tools to guide yourself into your best life ever

So, you’re probably wondering how to become unconsciously congruent.  

You can begin by enrolling in ongoing NLP training, joining an NLP Masterclass, and by modeling the lives and success secrets of NLP legends such as Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and Tony Robbins, and applying them in your life. Any of these options will allow you to gain more competency, thus becoming more aligned with your goals and dreams making them more easily achievable.

Learn more about Thrive Learning Collective’s NLP Coaching Program and NLP MasterClass at http://www.ThriveLearningCollective.com/masterclass.  The next ones begin soon.


Living Healthy with NLP

In my earlier post, I talked about managing our thoughts through Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and how that can allow you to live your best life ever.   

And even as an NLP Coach you’re probably curious.   “How does NLP affect my health?” and “How can I use it to improve my health?”

If you read my previous post, you know that going from where you are to where you want to be is only a thought away.  And the same holds true for thoughts about our health.

During one of my 16 day NLP / Hypnotherapy training classes in Florida, I had a student who came in EVERY day complaining of a new ailment.  Her leg hurt, the next day her shoulder hurt, she twisted her back.  Every day was something new and as I was leaving one day, I noticed that, even though she wasn’t legally “handicapped”, she parked every day in a handicapped parking spot.

So I thought, if she’s NOT handicapped and at least twice a day she’s seeing the handicapped sign on the parking spot, then she’s subconsciously living out HER life as a handicapped person!

You see, as she feels the ailment, she then thinks the thought that “something is wrong” and continues to subconsciously recreate “something wrong” every day.

Once I pointed it out to her, she found a new parking spot, and through the New Behavior Generator and Anchoring NLP processes, she was able to change her “wrong” thinking into more positive thoughts which supported her desire to for excellent health. 

A basic premise is that if you control your thoughts, you can control your words, and you have control over changes you wish to make in your life. 

You will always have a variety of thoughts floating through your mind, so when I speak of controlling your thoughts, I’m referring to focusing your thoughts.  You can CHOOSE what thoughts you want to put your focus on.  The others will just float on through with barely a notice.

So, using words accurately is what NLP teaches. By teaching your brain to think, and it can be taught, in sound ways and behaviors that are in alignment with your values (see Manage Your Mind, Manage Your Life), then this produces positive effects on your body and heals your emotions.

As an NLP Coach, you’re aware that roughly 90% of illnesses originate in the mind. However, knowing this and applying it in your life can be two different things.  

In the NLP MasterClass, I consciously and continuously monitor my students’ words while talking about your life, family, business, relationships, and health.  By also observing your facial expressions, and body changes, I can see hidden “language” to discover the unwanted thoughts and the way you view your health, and get to the root of the problem, the negative belief stored in your unconscious. 

Once the unconscious beliefs are brought into your consciousness, you will change your thinking pattern and eliminate any unwanted ideas about your health.

NLP has proven successful in sports, the educational field, sales, business, and health.  Thrive Learning Collective’s NLP MasterClass students gain a much deeper level of understanding of how and why the techniques work and how not only to assist their clients in making positive life changes, but to incorporate them in their own lives.  

All of us have role models such as film stars, sports stars, famous speakers, and so on.  They have achieved success and prominence in their fields. They also have reasonably good health and radiant personalities. They have got to where they are by a strong “belief” system shored up with high quality thoughts.  

You and I can also model or create patterns in our own lives by following their beliefs and patterns of behavior and so rise up to their levels of success.  It is entirely possible.  I’ve done it and I’ve seen so many of my students do it, as well.  NLP is the shortest, most direct path to discover the inner resources we all possess.  They are waiting to be tapped and brought out into the light, so that every aspect of our lives can be improved. 

Success isn’t just for a chosen few, it’s for all of us.  


What’s the goal?

What do you want? 

Simple question, right? It’s also one of the most difficult for many of us to answer.  Sometimes because we truly don’t know what it is we want or how to get it.

I often see clients who want to find out why they can’t achieve their goal.  It usually doesn’t take long to figure it out.  It’s usually for 2 main reasons. Either they aren’t clear on what they do want or, by staying right where they are, they are getting something positive out of it. 

We’ve all gone through it.  

We might say, “I want a successful career”, when we really don’t want to lose the connection with our family.  “I want a new car”, but you don’t want another payment.  So, what I have found is that people actually do know what they want, but at the same time, they are getting something positive from staying right where they’re at and “sabotaging” the goal.

Why can’t I achieve my goal?

Your NLP Coaching practice provides you with tools and techniques such as DreamSculpting® to guide clients to discover what positive benefit they’re getting from NOT achieving their goal.  It seems antithetical to get something positive from NOT achieving a goal, but it’s more common than you might realize. Once you uncover that positive benefit, you can open the channel for clients as they find other ways to keep the positive benefit by moving forward and achieving their goal.

A goal is an outcome we set our sights on achieving in life, career, relationship, home, and/or health.  They appear to be less daunting than our big dreams, but how we approach them, how we sabotage them are just the same. 

You can tell that something’s tripping you up, can’t you?   

I once had a client who wanted to move from Sedona, Arizona to San Diego, California because she felt she might have better opportunities for work and new relationships, but she had been self-sabotaging this goal for years.  Sabotage came in many forms i.e.: If it wasn’t her job stopping her from moving — it was the job market, if it wasn’t money stopping her– it was the economy, if it wasn’t the economy, it was the housing market.  

There was always some excuse as to why she couldn’t make the move. What was tripping her up?

Truth was, she hadn’t really been clear about her goal of moving.  It was kind of a fleeting thought and every once in a while she’d decide it was a good idea to move, but it really wasn’t a solid goal.

When she thought she was getting serious about moving, she began my DreamSculpting® program.  As we progressed through the discovery phase, I asked her what she would get to keep by NOT moving to San Diego.  After some serious thought, she replied, “Well, I’d get to keep my beautiful home here in Sedona” — and so the positive benefit was revealed.  Once that was revealed she was able to truly create a strategy and plan for moving to San Diego, where she lives today in her beautiful home.

How can clients discover their real goals?

Here is a short scripted process I like to use to get them started on the road to discovering their real goals.

  1. Close your eyes and just Imagine for a moment that you are completely free to be yourself, to be, do, or have anything you want.  Can you remember when you were younger and you were pretending to be a superhero or character from television? Remember how that felt?  That’s right, it felt like the whole world was yours for the taking.  Or maybe, you are taking a long walk through the woods in autumn or along the beach in the summer?  Whatever you do, allow yourself to feel these powerful emotions completely.

  2. Now, as you continue feeling those powerful emotions, imagine what life would be like if you had a magic wand and could instantly create all the money, time, resources, love, acceptance, etc. that the world can offer.

  3. Now imagine floating up and out of your body about 10 feet and look ahead into the future at your life in 3 years,10 years, see your life just the way you want it.  With the relationship, home, vibrant health, work you love, a spiritual path that works for you . . . what are those goals that will get you there?  

As a DreamSculpting® coach, you have in your tool chest the most powerful program in guiding clients to achieving their true goals and dreams.  Isn’t THAT a goal worth achieving?


Aligning our Conscious, Unconscious and Higher-Conscious Minds to Achieve our Dreams

To many, dreams are believed to be elusive and whimsical and that they aren’t really attainable.  Others use their Conscious Will to attempt to force the gods into granting us our dreams like a magical genie.  

Neither of these efforts is effective in creating the life of our dreams or the dreams in our lives.  

We are gifted with three levels of consciousness.  The Conscious Mind, the Unconscious Mind, and the Higher Conscious Mind.  

We’re all familiar with our Conscious Mind.  It’s that part of us that is always creating, thinking, dreaming up new ideas.  

The unconscious mind is that part of us that houses all of our beliefs and runs the programs created from those beliefs that we learned in the first 7 years of our lives.  We learned how to do affluence or how to financially struggle, and by that time we have probably learned to either be responsible for our decisions and behavior or to blame others when things don’t work out right. We learned how to do sickness or health, whether we developed love and respect or not. 

And NLP has many different processes and techniques that open up access to that part of our mind where those old programs reside and to be able to make changes where necessary.  Through NLP, we are able to discover all the things we learned as a child because we develop patterns out of those programs that we repeat over and over.  

NLP is a powerful tool that can set you up for success by syncing your conscious mind — the part you use to make rational and deliberate decisions —with your unconscious mind and it’s programs.  So, how does it work?

The Logical Conscious Mind

An NLP Coach is a specialist in business and life success strategies. Coaches work with their clients through their conscious mind or awareness. The Conscious Mind is the everyday mind. It’s the part of us that makes decisions, that analyzes the world around us, the source of logically processing information.  You make logical choices about what you want and how you will accomplish it with this part of your conscious mind.

Coaching techniques can include strategic planning, goal setting, and follow-up if all the client needs is a plan of action or guidance of what to do.


Re-Programming the Unconscious Mind

Top coaches such as Tony Robbins and most other prominent coaches, authors, and speakers are NLP trained in removing subconsciously programmed limitations, changing behaviors, and healing the root causes of self-sabotage and poor self-image in ourselves and our clients.

If you have a pattern of sabotaging yourself, the Unconscious Mind is usually the culprit behind it by hiding negative beliefs about yourself and the world.  When these unconscious beliefs conflict with our conscious thoughts, the result is a misalignment. 

Also, because the unconscious mind lives in the past, we keep re-living the story we’ve already written, rather than living the story we actually want to play out.  As coaches, we learn to use specialized techniques to reach this part of our client’s mind, which is completely necessary for change.

A Neuro-Linguistic Hypnotherapist is a master of the use of persuasive language and emotional/behavioral change. As an NLP Coach, you will be infinitely more effective learning and using the hypnotherapist’s ability to influence physical and behavioral change.

An NLP Coach is a master of communication—both internal and external—and an expert in human programming and the removal of limitations that impede success. As a Hypnotherapist, this is a must-have skill set to achieve the results you seek.

Connecting to the Higher Conscious Mind

The Higher Conscious Mind is that creative spirit within us all that connects us to the universal energies. It’s our connection to the Divine, to the God Source and to Infinite Intelligence. This is where inspiration, new ideas, and intuitive solutions arise.

This is also where deeply-held beliefs from the Subconscious Mind manifest themselves, and where the Law of Attraction takes its cues. The Higher Conscious Mind is what we could call the delivery mechanism for everything in the Universe.

Aligning The Three Minds and Leveraging Them to Achieve Our Dreams

First, through the Conscious Mind, we guide our client to get very clear on what it is that he wants.  How does it look, feel, taste, smell, sound, what size is it and many other submodalities. NLP Coaches use our mastery of language to heighten their emotions around their dream to give it more sizzle.  In other words, “How good do you really want it?” What will achieving this goal make him feel?  Security, love, connection, freedom?  There are many emotions that achieving our dreams might cause us to feel.  

Second, we guide our client to discover the old limiting belief(s) that could sabotage his dream. For example, if your client was raised in a family in which he constantly heard that there’s “not enough money, food, fuel, work, love, opportunities”, he will likely have developed programs and patterns of thoughts, decisions and behaviors that support the “not enough” belief.

As Neuro Linguistic Hypnotherapists we use appropriate techniques that allow our client to discover where that limiting belief began, eliminate it and install new useful beliefs that support his dream. Once the new beliefs about his dream are installed, our client will know exactly what he wants to achieve and, most importantly, he will finally believe he can achieve it.  

Third, we use a combination of tools such as meditation, chanting, affirmation, and prayer to guide our client to connect with his Higher Conscious Mind which has a direct connection with God, Divine Light, Infinite Wisdom, or any other names he may use for the “universal energies”.  This focused practice allows this Great Creator to witness our clear, Hi Def dream, armed with positive beliefs that it CAN be achieved, and the emotional juice, the level of desire behind it.  

From there, all of these universal energies will come together and have no alternative, but to bring his amazing dream to him.


Building Client Rapport

The first and most important part of a Coach’s relationship with our clients is to establish “rapport”. Why?  Because it creates a harmonious connection which is a practical skill that can be mastered through NLP tools and techniques.

Rapport is a conscious process of establishing an understanding, consensus-building relationship with their client.  The purpose is to promote a feeling a of comfort, familiarity, relatability, and communication all at the unconscious level. 

There are many situations in which we might want to have rapport.  NLP teaches you ways to instantly build credibility and trust with anyone.  NLP techniques are simple to learn and apply that will let you build rapport much faster with whomever you communicate with.  It’s especially useful with family, friends or co-workers, those within whom you have a level of relationship.

Building Rapport Starts with Paying Attention

Ways to build a rapport include the use of predicates, pet words, breathing, eye blinks, head tilt, posture, rhythms and many other things. Even just learning 3 or 4 of these helps you to be more balanced in your thinking and to understand your mind.

NLP teaches you how representations in everyday communications can guide you to asking the right questions and above all, to expect and elicit high quality answers. Your client’s high quality answers will provide you a window into their experience of the world.  Through this window, you’ll be able to more effectively guide them to healing.

Create better relationships with clients, family, friends and business relationships.

 These 3 NLP techniques will start you on your path to building instant rapport with whomever you want.

  1. Match your words – Words reflect the beliefs, ideas and understandings we have about ourselves, others, and the world in general.

So, when we listen closely to the words others speak, then use the same words in that conversation, it becomes possible to enter the other person’s world and see it as he or she does.  Doing this, we develop a better understanding of how that person feels or thinks.  Understanding that allows us to build rapport, and more easily become more persuasive and influential.

  1. Observe non-verbal cues – Non-verbal elements of our communication such as gestures, postures, facial expressions, eye movements, etc., are as important and convey more information than the words we use. Non-verbal cues can be both conscious and unconscious and besides the above also includes the pitch, rhythm and volume of the voice. Matching the tone of voice, pitch and rhythm lets you build instant rapport.
  2. Identify Meta programs– Meta programs in NLP refer to our habitual patterns that we uses in any given situation. NLP examples of Meta programs include our preference for big picture vs. details, moving towards what we want vs. moving away from what we don’t want, whether we delete information or distort it, and whether we look for things that are the same or we see differences.

Using these NLP tools is learning to appreciate and understand another’s model of the world or to put it another way, their map of reality and then communicating that back to them in a way that establishes trust.  The unconscious mind loves sameness so when we connect on our similarities and commonalities it fosters high levels of trust and gives others the feeling of being heard, appreciated and understood.

Can you imagine how that could positively affect all of your relationships?

These are just some of the ways of building instant rapport. Listening to words representing thoughts and emotions of a person, paying attention to non-verbal cues, noting their meta-programs and using them to the best advantage can be immensely helpful in a variety of situations that can include sales, negotiations, in the hiring process, therapy and many others. The higher the rapport level the more harmonious will be the connection and lead to better empathy and understanding towards other people.